1. Add some spice by texting with other people while making love. You will get bonus points if it’s a voice call or facetime with your lover’s relatives. This shows your lover that you are a popular and busy man with social awareness and that you care about her family.
2. Let out your inner animal! Make random animal sounds like dolphin or kangaroo. The more exotic the creature, the more likely your sheets will burst into flames from all the added passion!
3. Show how clever and funny you are. While in a deep moment where her legs are wrapped around you, you are holding her close and looking deep into her eyes, whisper an off-the-wall phrase in her ear like, “Do you think Natalie Portman and Keira Knightly are the same person?” or “Do you like jalapenos on your pizza?” Or “I’ll reverse my vasectomy if you want to get genetic engineering done so our offspring is born with a 200 I.Q. and a monkey tail.”
4. Asians in lab coats and fancy titles have proven garlic and sweat are powerful aphrodisiacs when used together in a strong enough dose. Important to know that anything less than four days without bathing and a full clove of garlic will come across as just plain bad body odor, which is totally inconsiderate.
5. With ADHD and cynicism being popular, the modern man must be jittery, fast, constantly changing the pace every 3 to 5 seconds, and completely unpredictable with touch and pressure. In 2025, slow, focused, caring, and sensual are boring.
6. Good communication is important. Be sure to evaluate her throughout the encounter. Especially from the moment she starts getting undressed. Add use of numbers for increased depth.
7. Never ask if she wants to bring her sister in on a threesome until you first (a) make sure she’s in a good mood and/or drunk or high, (b) be sure she understands just how hot you find her sister to be, and (c) at least make out with the sister first to make sure there is chemistry.
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