Video is below

Animation created January 2012

Notes for talk:

* Being in the moment
(1) Can’t fear without future think, more confidence, ease.
(2) Body will feel more relaxed, others see this as confidence.
– positive feedback loop.

* Acceptance (is not agreement)
(1) Acceptance for self AND others. More for self leads to…
What to accept about yourelf?
– abilities, thoughts, behaviors
– feelings and needs!
– are you evaluating yourself? Gradual moving toward…
– and OTHERS!

* Exercise
(1) Think of something you have done in the past that you feel some shame, guilt, or regret about. OR something someone else tried to guilt you about.
(2) Pick a harsh judgment. or evaluation of yourself and include it like so: “It was terrible / stupid / lame / mean / wrong.”
(3) Ask yourself what need(s) you were getting met or what value(s) you were meeting when you did the thing. Refer to the needs list in the chapter on basics, if you need to. Was it a need for ease? Recognition? Power? Order? Safety? It can be more than one. Write it/them down. “I did that thing because I was seeking more ____________________________.”
Hints: acceptance, connection, to be heard, power, community, play, love, mental stimulation

* Tie it all together
How does increasing your self acceptance and acceptance of others cure your social anxiety?

I’m glad you asked! First, self acceptance. The more comfortable you feel with yourself in all the many ways we can evaluate, the less you will assume others have issues with you. You will feel more safe and free to be yourself in more situations with a wider variety of people. You are literally expanding your comfort zone.