Talk on Chapter 5 – From Evaluation to Values

Chapter 5 – “Evaluation & Judgement” from Practical Empathy Practice from the book A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind by Scott Howard Swain.

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Chapter 5 – “Evaluation & Judgement” from Practical Empathy Practice (PEP) from the book A Practical EmPath: Rewire Your Mind by Scott Howard Swain.

Get the book at https://amazon.com/dp/B0CQMG6MVM

Practical Empathy Practice (PEP) is a communication method similar to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) aiming to foster understanding and connection. This 12-minute talk is on Chapter 4, The Basics of Practical Empathy Practice.

The core of PEP involves a four-step process: **objective observation**, identifying **feelings**, recognizing underlying **values/needs**, and making **positive, actionable requests**. The text emphasizes distinguishing observations from evaluations and using “wants” or “values” instead of “needs” for clearer communication in everyday settings. Examples of both clinical and casual PEP conversations illustrate how the method works in practice. The ultimate goal is to build stronger relationships by fostering empathy and clear communication.

Briefing Document: Shifting Evaluation into Values

Deconstructing Evaluations: A Practical Empathy Practice (PEP) Study Guide

Quiz (Short Answer)

1. What is the core difference between an evaluation and a value statement in Practical Empathy Practice (PEP)?
2. Why might someone develop an “addiction” to making evaluations, according to the text?
3. Explain how positive evaluations can be problematic, even if they seem harmless.
4. How does shifting evaluations into value statements increase personal responsibility?
5. Describe the difference between the Western and Eastern traditions of classification, according to Nisbett’s work.
6. What is E-Prime, and how can it be useful in avoiding evaluative language?
7. Explain the concept of “Amtssprache” and its connection to personal responsibility.
8. Why is the phrase “I deserve to be happy” considered problematic?
9. What does the text suggest you do if you encounter evaluative language from others?
10. How can non-evaluative language lead to personal and societal change?

Quiz Answer Key

1. Evaluations are pronouncements or assumptions of “universal truth” that often judge others based on our own values, while value statements express our personal preferences and feelings without implying objective right or wrong.
2. An “addiction” to evaluations may stem from a desire for efficiency, internalized societal norms, fear of being judged, a need for control, modeling authority figures, media influences, lack of emotional vocabulary, or fitting into social groups.
3. Positive evaluations can be problematic because they can be interpreted as universal truths, creating dependency on external validation and potentially setting unrealistic expectations.
4. Shifting evaluations into value statements increases personal responsibility by requiring us to acknowledge our own feelings, values, and needs, rather than attributing judgments to external standards or others’ opinions.
5. The Western tradition, influenced by the ancient Greeks, teaches children to classify objects according to rules, while the Eastern tradition emphasizes the interconnectedness of everything, encouraging people to look for relationships.
6. E-Prime is a form of English that excludes all forms of the verb “to be,” encouraging speakers to express personal experiences and opinions rather than presenting them as objective facts.
7. “Amtssprache,” or bureaucratic language, is a way of speaking that denies personal responsibility for actions by attributing them to external forces such as orders, policies, or laws.
8. The phrase “I deserve to be happy” implies entitlement and dodges personal responsibility by assuming someone else is responsible for giving happiness, rather than recognizing it as a personal choice and effort.
9. The text suggests practicing empathy, especially self-empathy, to understand the unmet needs that cause frustration when encountering evaluative language from others, rather than correcting or teaching the other person.
10. Non-evaluative language fosters empathy, acceptance, and personal responsibility, ultimately leading to a more harmonious and just society by challenging domination systems and promoting understanding between individuals with different values.

Essay Questions

1. Discuss the origins of evaluative language and its connection to societal structures, drawing on concepts like categorization, Amtssprache, and the domination system.
2. Explain how the shift from evaluations to value statements can improve communication, deepen relationships, and promote personal growth. Provide specific examples of how to rephrase evaluations into value statements in various contexts.
3. Analyze the role of personal responsibility in the context of PEP and explain how evaluative language can hinder it while value statements can foster it.
4. Explore the potential challenges in integrating PEP into your life, focusing on the need for empathy towards yourself and others when encountering evaluative language. Discuss strategies for navigating these challenges.
5. In what ways might society benefit from the widespread implementation of Practical Empathy Practice (PEP), and what challenges might hinder its adoption?

Glossary of Key Terms

• Practical Empathy Practice (PEP): A communication method focused on liberating, understanding, strengthening connection, increasing responsibility, displaying clarity, and empowering self and others through values and self-expression.
• Evaluation: Judging a person or action as “good” or “bad” (or equivalents) based on personal values, presented as if it were a universal truth or objective fact.
• Value Statement: Expressing one’s personal feelings, values, and needs without implying judgment or universal truth.
• Needs: Synonymous with values in the context of PEP, referring to what is important to a person.
• Universal Truth: A statement presented as objectively true for all people at all times, often used in evaluations.
• E-Prime: A form of English that excludes all forms of the verb “to be,” to avoid confusion between opinions and facts.
• Amtssprache: “Office talk”; bureaucratic language used to deny personal responsibility for actions by attributing them to external forces.
• Domination System: A societal structure where a few people control the majority, often perpetuated by evaluative language and denial of personal responsibility.