Dear 3rd Wave Feminists

Recognition

Let’s recognize some of the primary issues 3rd wave feminists have, as well as issuing a trigger warning because I may get a bit snarky.

I agree that most men can’t fully understand what it is like to be a woman. Men certainly do have some advantages, both biologically and culturally. And we can’t ignore the problems. Look at the domestic abuse statistics! Look at who sits in leadership positions of political and financial power! You want fairness. You want justice. You want respect.

Few men can understand what it was like when your father or uncle (a person you trusted most in life) physically, sexually, or psychologically abused you. How about catcalls from the random bozo on the street? And, being on average physically weaker than men, how safe do you feel on that same street at night without a gun in your purse? How about the gropes and pats on the butt at work by the rare non-soyboy who was raised by apes? How about being judged for your looks instead of your brain? It sucks.

You want recognition for your pain. For what you had to go through and what you go through every day being a woman. Compounding the problem, not even all your fellow women agree with you! It can feel like your plea is falling on deaf ears. So you yell louder. And when just one person listens, you feel some hope. You meet other feminists who feel as you do and you feel encouraged and sane. You feel understood. It’s not an easy road but it feels right. And yeah, it can feel good to fight for a cause you believe in, right?

Maybe you think, “Things *are* changing! More men are into real equality. More companies want women to work for them and treat us well..” but then you listen to prominent 3rd wave activist feminists shouting, “That is the thinking of the complacent! We are being taken advantage of!”

Are you being taken advantage of? Should you dye your hair purple and swear off men forever? Here is some NSFW satirical commentary on a recent high profile court case: https://clearsay.net/amber-v-johnny

How about instead of choosing to be victims, we all stop wasting energy on that divisive game? Let’s celebrate our strengths!

• Let’s celebrate that women live longer than males.
• Let’s celebrate that women tend to be better at understanding emotion and communicating it.
• Let’s celebrate that the tech and engineering industries are desperate to hire women.
• Let’s celebrate that women can have multiple orgasms.
• Let’s celebrate that females are far less likely to be homeless.
• Let’s celebrate that women are less likely to get cancer.
• Let’s celebrate for women that if a man and a woman are having a dispute in public, strangers will typically side with the woman.
• Let’s celebrate that in our culture and most others, women are to be revered and protected.
• Let’s celebrate that when a ship is sinking, both literally and metaphorically, women and children are the first to be saved.
• Let’s celebrate that rarely are women expected to work life-threatening jobs.
• Let’s celebrate that women get the majority of college degrees.
• Let’s celebrate that women can be friendly with children without garnering suspicion.
• Let’s celebrate for women that courts side with females more often in cases involving divorce, custody, abuse, and crime.
• Let’s celebrate boobs!
• Let’s celebrate the massive power of female sexuality.
• Let’s celebrate that females have the wonderous ability to create life!
• Let’s celebrate that being a fat chick is now celebrated as beautiful and healthy.
• Note: I’m talking about American culture.

Finally, we can’t quantify the value of all the advantageous and disadvantageous traits any one person, race, or gender has and then declare they have an unfair advantage or disadvantage compared to some other person or group. In the absence of this “unlimited all-knowing,” let’s choose to be humble, to assume we don’t know what it is like for other people, and give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe their lot in life has just as many challenges as ours. What is the reward for this? Peace and harmony. What if all the energy we put into fighting each other we were to put into building something great together? What if the energy of “You better listen to me about the pain your kind causes me” were shifted to “I’m having pain. I wonder if you are, too? I’m listening with an open mind” or “I’m in pain. I need some support right now”?